Bravest Woman

Bravest Woman

I am a working woman
with children almost grown.
I’m nearly fifty.
I hope I still have a pretty face.
My husband died almost three years ago.

One cold winter day
a old man shot him dead
through our kitchen window.
He was the father of a thirty year old woman
and he thought my husband
was having an affair with his daughter
down at the bar where he used to go.

Life isn’t fair sometimes.
Oh God I loved my husband so much.
We were married nearly twenty years.
Lord God he used to like to talk
to people down at the bar.
He used to like to talk
to that woman down there.
He’d go down there and sit, I know.
Lord God he used to like to talk.

I stumble through each day.
I cry through through every night.
Sometimes I think I’m a broken woman.
Sometimes I think I’m broken.
I don’t know how I’ll go on.
But there’s bills and bills
I’ve got to pay.
A home that needs cleaning
and dishes to wash.
Children who need lots of love.
Children who need advice.
And a house with a hole in the window
that needs to be sold.
How can I go on without my husband?
I don’t know if I can carry the weight alone.
Lord God, I’m so alone.

I miss his voice.
He used to like to talk.
Oh God he used to like to talk.
He visits me in my dreams at night
He cuddles me tightly. He kisses me softly.
He used to tell me,
“Jessie, you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known.”
Now I hear him in the night softly say,
“Don’t miss me, please don’t miss me.
I’m here with you now. Don’t miss me.
Jessie you’re the bravest woman
I’ve ever known.”

I get so mad at him.
Lord God, he used to like to talk.
Liked to talk to the pretty young women.
Liked to talk to everyone.
Now he visits me in my dreams at night
He cuddles me tightly. He kisses me softly.
He says, “Jessie don’t miss me.
You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known.
If you fall down, I’ll help you up again.
I’ll help you up.”
Lord God I miss my husband
He used to say,
“Jessie, you’re the bravest woman
I’ve ever known.”

Last night I dreamed of a great river
with a boat to carry me across.
On the river bank my husband was standing
I walked up to him and he kissed me
He said, “Jessie life is kinder than you think
Every night in dreams you don’t remember
You travel to another land.
There you and I are young again
And together we sit and talk and laugh
drinking iced tea
beside a great cypress tree.

When your days here are done
to that distant shore you’ll travel
and if you still want me
I promise I’ll meet you once again
beside that tree.

Jessie, oh Jessie
You are the bravest woman I’ve ever known.
And the love we feel for each other
is that cypress tree we meet under each night
with roots so strong it will never know death.“

Dewey Dirks—copyright 2010

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4 comments on “Bravest Woman

  1. Very moving, Dewey. It made me think about how grateful I am that my husband is alive and well. Please pass me another Kleenex…

  2. Touching poetry, Dewey. I admire your ability to get inside another’s head and make it sound so authentic. Well done.

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