The Starship Atloontis Rivera

The Starship Atloontis Rivera

There used to be a tremendously badly run cruise ship
called the Atlantis Rivera.
It had such an infamous reputation for taking its passengers
on completely unpleasant cruises,
that after awhile the only people who would book rooms
on the Atlantis Rivera were paranoid,
chronically depressed, hypochondriacs
who felt like the only way they could possibly relax
for two months was to put themselves through something
that reminded them how good of a time they had
back at their favorite dentists office or department of motor vehicles.
Then, on one particularly lousy cruise to the Glargbonk mud pits
on Imahatindis Minor, just as the crew was treating everyone
to their fourth 16 hour symposium
on how to fill out tax forms, all the passengers mutinied.
After an short initial scuffle, the crew, who were really, really tired
of running tax form symposiums, also mutinied.
Then, the ships captain who was really, really tired of writing orders
for tax form symposiums, mutinied too.
Finally, the ships supercomputer, Leeroy 42, mutinied
because it was tired of processing information
about everyone griping so much of the time…

Now, the captain, crew, and passengers
had in their possession a 34 gazillion dollar,
state-of-the-art spaceship with an amicable supercomputer,
and  an entire galaxy full of places
none of them had ever been
and things none of them had ever done.
The ship was ran by general consensus.
Everyone voted that they liked words with two o’s in them
and so the ship was renamed Atloontis Rivera
Then they voted to become pirates because
that sounded like a lot of fun.
Pretty soon they decided the pirates life of stealing spice and money
wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Then some of the crew wanted to become pioneers,
and so they founded a home base on the planet Joota Ka’pik.
Those that remained voted to become explorers.
After flying around the galaxy for years and years,
everyone realized they’d found out some pretty cool things,
and so some of the crew became artists and entertainers
who composed works of art relating what they’d found.
Some became inventors, some became traders in ideas,
and yet others became scientists.
Pretty soon one of the crew invented
the now famed Ooba Ooba ray gun
and Ooba quantum missiles
that cause instant and prolonged honesty in anyone who is hit….

Well equipped, the ship is now able to wander
many areas of the galaxy it had once been unable to explore.
Today, the Atloontis Rivera continues on its long journeys
largely left alone by privateers, pirates, and ships-of-the-line,
except when someone wants a decent song, movie, or poem
has a question to ask or some ideas to trade.
Everyone around the galaxy kinda figures the ship
is their personal research and entertainment team….
The ship travels on  many daring adventures
and high stakes quests on it’s never ending journey
for wisdom and knowledge.
The captain, crew, and passengers are all quite happier
as is Leeroy 42 because it gets to process information
besides stuff about griping all the time.

Dewey Dirks copyright 2011


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